Why dont I quit?

   At times, life is really tough on us. I still remember how elated I was when I got my Wipro joining letter on 10th Jan 2010. I was on 4 calls at a time. After waiting for 6 months, breaking my head over MBA books , teaching students in college, totaling the final marks of the accessed papers. It was as if I couldn't be happier. Relocating , leaving 22 years of my life behind did not matter at all. I was ecstatic.

   Next day I woke up as usual, got ready for college. Was dying to tell Pooja and Priti. I reached Mahim station and as I started walking towards college , I frowned at the dirty footpath. Looked at the good ole Raheja Hospital and the bus-stop to T junction. As I entered the college gate, the familiar smell of fish mongers in close vicinity. The small houses and shops in the baithi chawl at a stone's throw. The ice cream shop which was our regular hangout . As I approached the stairs , the smell of chicken fried rice and chinese bhel filled my breath. 

   I started ascending the stairs. My breath seemed shorter than the usual. There was a lump in my throat. I was to leave all this behind me. All that I knew. My first job. All those happy 4 months. I reached the office panting and puffing. Knocked the door open , missed the small railing at the entrance and almost fell into the room. There they were sitting , giggling at me with a she-has-pulled-it-off-once-again look. I did not look back at them with a frown , not with my tongue hanging out to tease them. My eyes were full and they immediately knew something was wrong. Something about which I was so happy yesterday, I wished it would have never happened. 

   Today when someone asks me when are you quitting :) [people really must hate me being around :P] I look back at that day. Fateful , unfateful I do not know. But that I feel that lump yet again. I remember the friendly tears and goodbyes. The other unwelcoming and jealous eyes, as if they were going to strip me naked and attack me with the buckled Nazi belts. Pooja's and Priti's eyes , saying please don't leave, as they say goodbye.

   I don't know if I am ready to go through all this yet again or maybe as yet.....